No Wait, There's More

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, more pictures from that dreadful "fashion" (if you can call it that) spectacle known as the Saawariya premiere have surfaced...


Amrita Rao
The color works, the dress does not. It would have been a decent attempt had that transparent frill at the bottom not come in the way. And those shoes are plain awful...Ms. Rao, you have a magnificent figure. Why attract attention to your knee caps and ankles? The bling on the wrist is also a huge no-no.
Grade: C+ (points for the color and overall cut of the dress, but major deductions for that frill and mismatching shoes)










Dia Mirza
Not really known for her dress sense, Dia didn't really help her case by showing up in this ill-fitted maid's outfit. She had a nice blend of colors going, but for some reason the former pageant queen opted to hide her frame under a maternity shirt and pair it with pants that look like black skinny jeans gone wrong.
Grade: D+ (it's not a total disaster; the colors save her from reaching complete and utter failure)













Alisha Chinnai
This isn't your wedding, Chinnai. And even if it were, I pray to God that you would not dress like that.
Grade: F (she was always rather strange to begin with)















Soha Ali Khan
Being both Sharmila Tagore's daughter and Saif Ali Khan's kid sister is no easy task. Soha does a rather nice job of playing it safe with an elegant sari. The color's a bit loud, but there's nothing wrong with being bold, provided you go about it in a trendy manner.
Grade: B+ (it's the least we can give her when the spotlight was clearly on big bro and his new beau)













Sridevi
Now that is what we call class. In a dazzling sari that would surely put a huge grin on Karan Johar's face, one wishes all of the young starlets would take a leaf out of Madame Sri's book. The silver detailing is exquisite, and the halter is sexy. Age does nothing to this stunner, seen here with husband Boney Kapoor and daughter Jhanvi.
Grade: A










Akshaye Khanna
Suave and sophisticated, Akshaye looks rather handsome in his a grey suit and tie. But will someone please tell me where exactly the sun can be found?
Grade: A- (the shades are stylish, but come on Mr. Khanna...it's an evening premiere at an indoor venue)

Kareena officially gets more points for the sexy back.

Lock this Cash in a safe, will you?

Now, let me get this straight. Anubhav Sinha, a director who showed a decent amount of talent in two (albeit contrived) films, Tum Bin and Dus, manages to pull off a cast reading Ajay Devgan, Ritiesh Deshmukh, Suniel Shetty, Zayed Khan, Shamita Shetty, Esha Deol and Dia Mirza. Or I'll take that back and say Sinha manages to pull off a cast of Ajay Devgan and Ritiesh Deshmukh, because it's no secret that the other five probably do not know themselves how they have managed to persist in this industry for so long.

Then Sinha gets the music-duo Vishal-Shekhar to create a racy, borderline annoying but irresistibly catchy musical score. Sinha gets the foreign locales, he ropes in the high-speed chases and nail-biting stunts. He even brings to the table a cartoonist who bestows upon each character his or her very own animated introduction!

And yet somewhere, perhaps in the middle of all these "important" (?) details, Sinha turns around and realizes that neither he, nor anyone involved in the project, seems to know what the bloody film is even about. Moreover, Sinha surprises us and decides to continue narrating - no, not anything resembling a story - but a chain of more stunts. And lo and behold, there is Cash for you.

The actors, for their part, sing and dance and make a huge fuss about how they've got cash on their mind, making money all the time. What no one seems to have on his mind is how to give a decent performance. Ajay is the biggest miscast here - he looks bored, rather bewildered if you will, and quite uncomfortable romancing the considerably younger Shamita. He also looks far too old to appear in the title song at the opening credits, almost making a mockery of himself. Ritiesh is another talent wasted. Needless to say, the guy has a flair for comedy. Sadly, you see very little of it here. For some reason best known to the animator, cartoon Ritiesh seems to have blond hair. The cartoons, as an aside, are superfluous and obnoxious.

That Zayed is a lousy actor is no secret. Here his hair makes him a step more intolerable than usual. Suniel throws around his fake American accent like his life depends on it.

Of the ladies, Esha comes across insipid and hardly looks her best. She also decides to remove her shirt and fight off the villains in her sports bra, most probably because Ms. Shetty fighting alongside her threatens with her superior abs. Shamita, for her part, actually manages to look convincing as a hot home security official. What's sad is that her character is probably the most clueless security official you will ever see.

Dia looks stunning and is conspicuously absent from the title track (instead we are relegated to Esha's absurd facial expressions). She manages to do a decent job, pity there is so little of her.

The songs are shot with aplomb and are where most of the style is evident. Yes, they all contain English. And no, none are meant to be taken seriously. You will find yourself singing Cash, Naughty Naughty and Rehem Kare whether you like it or not. Mindblowing Mahiya, on the other hand, would have been best left unrecorded (I personally would have shredded the paper it was originally written on, but those are minor details).

Verdict: Isn't it obvious?