Get to Know These Friends

The first Hindi film shot almost entirely in Miami with two male leads pretending to be gay to impress a girl and obtain residency. This may sound like a recipe for disaster, but don't let the premise fool you. First things first, Dostana is by no means a remake of the atrocious I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Perhaps the only similarities are that two men are pretending to be gay and at some point they receive a surprise inspection - otherwise their motives for doing so and the core purpose of the film are miles apart. Also, while the latter was sadly unfunny, this outing is supremely entertaining, even if logic ceases to exist in the proceedings.

It is best to let the story unfold before you, not to mention it is hard to say too much without giving away too much. Let it just be said that the film works, and how, because of the chemistry of the three main protagonists: Abhishek Bachchan, John Abraham and Priyanka Chopra. The men, of course, deserve special applause for a camaraderie that carries the film on its shoulders. But, it is important to note that the film is not a dostana of two friends, but of three. The scenes shared between the three of them are enough to have you convinced that there is a genuine affection here, a friendship that perhaps evolved as much for them while filming in Miami as it did for their characters while living there.

But chemistry alone is not enough, and luckily the three seem quite aware (for the most part). Abhishek, after a long, long time, hits the nail on the head as the flamboyant, obvious woman in the err, 'equation', if you will. He is downright hilarious and a scene-stealer throughout. His counterpart, John, is used mostly as eye candy and is perhaps as much on display as you've ever seen him, but then I am yet to hear any females (or some males) complain. Although he may not get to 'act' as much, he is endearing enough with that perpetual look of simultaneous innocence and cheekiness.

Priyanka looks downright gorgeous and is also on ample display, but somehow she never once manages to look cheap. It's an achievement in a day and age where many actresses are about excessive skin display but come across vulgar rather than sexy. Priyanka, on the other hand, is dressed like the average liberal girl in Miami, even if there are one or two occasions in the film when you wish she were just wearing some clothes. But then if John refuses, why should she concede? In terms of performance, she picked up where she left off in Fashion. Some may not see anything 'special' in this one, as it lacks histrionics, but that is precisely why it is a good one: it is understated and natural in a film that is otherwise deliberately over-the-top.

Her character may seem clueless at times, but one wonderfully realistic thing about her is that in perhaps one of the film's best scenes, she reveals that she is 27, single, professionally unsatisfied and incomplete. Anyone who's not a liar would have to admit that he or she has come across several such people in their lives, namely women, and thus it's a nice touch that typically goes unmentioned in films that like to churn out 'perfect' characters.

Special mentions to Kirron Kher and Boman Irani for their hilarious supporting roles; Bobby Deol, sadly, is one of the flaws in terms of the casting. He does an okay job in his rather lengthy role, but at 38 he seems out of place in the larger scheme of things. His role also seems tailor made for someone like Arjun Rampal, who may only be a couple of years younger, but career wise is a whole generation younger.

Other flaws are that the film does drag in the end. Also, the plot itself has its share of loopholes, but romantic comedies are not the best to dissect in terms of content now, are they? Some have complained that the portrayal of homosexuals is entirely stereotypical, as they are all made to be flamboyant and sassy. But kindly look at the lead pair: while Abhishek portrays exactly that, John's character has been written to behave as normal, the 'man' in the relationship, save for one scene where he feels pressured to be slightly more obvious.

Also, for the first time in the history of Hindi films, the foreign actors are NORMAL. They are not strange Eastern Europeans posing as Americans or Brits, they do not have absurd accents or shout their dialogues or make comments about how Indians are the greatest people on earth. They just play their parts, and that in itself is a great achievement for an industry that always makes a mockery of foreign characters, often making you wonder if they picked up any random from the street.

The music grows on you; you may have never thought you would find yourself singing Desi Girl or Maa Da Laadla in your head, but the film has that growing effect on you. Jaane Kyon is the soul of the film and is the perfect way to depict the evolving friendship of the main three. Shilpa Shetty may be aging, but her figure remains as enviable as ever in the opening Shut Up and Bounce track.

Verdict? Go see it, because after a long time there is a comedy that is genuinely funny and a film that relies on pure, Bollywood entertainment, one that may just have repeat value at that, and characters that you actually do care for.

Why God Why?

Some films should never be made. They may have all the elements of a good film - a competent director, a reasonably exciting star cast, a couple of catchy tunes and visibly high production values. Nonetheless, I repeat, they should never be made.

Now it is one thing if the script on paper seems like a worthy idea. There are many instances when you watch a not-so-great film and, while you are disappointed with the outcome, you can see how the original plan seemed fine but the execution was flawed.

In the sad case of Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, one can't seem to comprehend how the idea ever seemed appealing to begin with. The film tells the sorry tale of four blithering idiots: Abhishek Bachchan, a smart-talking and good-for-nothing pendu, most commonly found standing around the corners of Southall; Preity Zinta, an absurd and so-called Muslim who simultaneously shouts out in defense of Pakistan and Muslims while also chanting about how she has slept with some ridiculous amount of men; Bobby Deol as a very wooden millionaire who talks in a monotone, clearly reading from the script voice; and Lara Dutta, a French/Indian hotel manager whom it is difficult to understand more than half the time.

Ah yes, there is also Amitabh Bachchan as a horrendously-clad gypsy of some sort - you know, the kind your parents once told you to avoid at all costs? The very sight of him in this film is shocking and frankly, completely unnecessary.

Maybe the characters are somewhat unique, but they are for the most part incoherent and intolerable. The first half of the film - where Abhishek and Preity are telling one another about their (not-so) respectable love interests - is downright unbearable. You almost contemplate switching the film off, but something inside of you wonders if it could possibly get better. Instead, the story goes no where and instead you encounter a 30-minute dance marathon with the same title song reappearing for a second and third outing in this blasphemous enterprise.

One would hope the star quality would lift the film, but the performances leave much to be desired. Abhishek tries very hard, but it's not some fantastic role that can lift the film from the dumps in which it resides. Bobby is a poor excuse of an actor in the first half, but his Mama's boy routine in the second half is far more appreciated. Preity is loud, obnoxious and Botox-ed like there is no tomorrow. It's sad, really, given one of her better performances just came last summer in the form of Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, but it seems that was nothing short of a diamond in the rough. Lara somehow manages to speak in French-accented Hindi and sound plausible - sadly, the act itself is so irritating that it overbears her effort. She's done quite well in the film, but once again - no single actor is about to salvage this disaster.

The music consists of the same song, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, in three forms. The best two are those showcased in the dance contest - JBJ and Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. Bol Na Halke Halke is a very nice song, but the entire sequence involving the song is completely nonsensical and one of the worst attempts at triggering romance in a Hindi film. The less said about songs like Ticket to Hollywood and Kiss of Love, the better. The titles themselves say enough.

The biggest question mark in the film? Shaad Ali. For someone who made his directorial debut with Saathiya, something that was unique, consistent, laden with fine performances and, of course, a musical gem, Shaad has certainly catapulted into an almost B-grade venture. There was an all right Bunty Aur Babli in the middle, thanks to the charm of Abhishek and Rani, again a fun musical score and, barring the climax, an enjoyable ride. Yet how the same director could create such a massacre will perhaps remain the unsolved mystery of his career.

Verdict? Don't even THINK about it.