Entertainment in Times of Strike

The battle between the producers and the multiplexes might mean that no films will be hitting the marquee any time soon, but certainly there are a couple of DVDs you could (and should) enjoy from the comforts of your home...hence I am going to do this in more of a 'round-up' format rather than the detailed review to either persuade or dissuade your trip to the local cinema.

The President is Coming

What: One of the earlier and largely overlooked releases of 2009, this hilarious film (adapted from a play of the same name) chronicles a contest in which one 'young Indian' will be chosen to shake hands with President Bush during his 2006 visit to India. Get ready for a lighthearted running commentary on topics ranging from feminism to homosexuality and regionalism to globalization.

Who: Konkona Sen Sharma leads the way as a pretentious novelist whose lyrics poke fun at the likes of Arundhati Roy and Jhumpa Lahiri; acclaimed character artist Lilette Dubey's daughter - Ira Dubey - makes a welcome entry as an Indian version of Paris Hilton. Vivek Gomber (Rohit), Namit Das (Ramesh), Satchit Puranik (Ajay)...everyone deserves a mention, really. Hats off to debutante director Kunaal Roy Kapur for bringing together a quirky ensemble cast that is more than up to the challenge.

Warning: Certainly not a family film by any means...if you are embarrassed easily, watch it with your friends or on your own.

Verdict? The mention of George W. Bush has never spelled this much fun.


Billu Barber

What: It's the stuff child bedtime stories from your nani/dadi were made of: a small town with simpleton people interrupted by the grandeur of a popular but humble king. Albeit here it refers to a barber (Irrfan Khan) and his unbelievable friendship with superstar Sahir Khan (Shahrukh Khan playing a variation of his real-life persona). It's actually made more so with the kids in mind, but adults will find a nice message and perhaps enjoy what is at the film's sweet core.
Who: Irrfan seldom gets it wrong, and here he is able to be his unsuspectingly good self. Lara Dutta is a pleasant surprise in an ordinary role as his wife. And yes, there is Shahrukh who struts in every now and then to perhaps be a little kinder to everyone than he is in real life. But he certainly does a nice job in the climax by keeping his monologue on the restrained side (see what happens when buddy KJ isn't at the helm?).
Warning: Don't be fooled by Shahrukh's item numbers with various members of the industry's elite. Those are about the only aspects of 'commercial' cinema to be found, but rather the film is essentially about an extremely simple tale of friendship. It moves at quite a sluggish pace, so you must have patience.
Verdict? Shahrukh the producer is even smarter than Shahrukh the actor - the film does not promise great heights and therefore doesn't necessarily deliver them. Instead it is what it is: a sweet and simple film laden with a downright absurdly catchy soundtrack and welcome item number insertions featuring Gen X Deepika Padukone, Priyanka Chopra and Kareena Kapoor; ah yes, and with a proper moral of the story to boot.

Get to Know These Friends

The first Hindi film shot almost entirely in Miami with two male leads pretending to be gay to impress a girl and obtain residency. This may sound like a recipe for disaster, but don't let the premise fool you. First things first, Dostana is by no means a remake of the atrocious I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Perhaps the only similarities are that two men are pretending to be gay and at some point they receive a surprise inspection - otherwise their motives for doing so and the core purpose of the film are miles apart. Also, while the latter was sadly unfunny, this outing is supremely entertaining, even if logic ceases to exist in the proceedings.

It is best to let the story unfold before you, not to mention it is hard to say too much without giving away too much. Let it just be said that the film works, and how, because of the chemistry of the three main protagonists: Abhishek Bachchan, John Abraham and Priyanka Chopra. The men, of course, deserve special applause for a camaraderie that carries the film on its shoulders. But, it is important to note that the film is not a dostana of two friends, but of three. The scenes shared between the three of them are enough to have you convinced that there is a genuine affection here, a friendship that perhaps evolved as much for them while filming in Miami as it did for their characters while living there.

But chemistry alone is not enough, and luckily the three seem quite aware (for the most part). Abhishek, after a long, long time, hits the nail on the head as the flamboyant, obvious woman in the err, 'equation', if you will. He is downright hilarious and a scene-stealer throughout. His counterpart, John, is used mostly as eye candy and is perhaps as much on display as you've ever seen him, but then I am yet to hear any females (or some males) complain. Although he may not get to 'act' as much, he is endearing enough with that perpetual look of simultaneous innocence and cheekiness.

Priyanka looks downright gorgeous and is also on ample display, but somehow she never once manages to look cheap. It's an achievement in a day and age where many actresses are about excessive skin display but come across vulgar rather than sexy. Priyanka, on the other hand, is dressed like the average liberal girl in Miami, even if there are one or two occasions in the film when you wish she were just wearing some clothes. But then if John refuses, why should she concede? In terms of performance, she picked up where she left off in Fashion. Some may not see anything 'special' in this one, as it lacks histrionics, but that is precisely why it is a good one: it is understated and natural in a film that is otherwise deliberately over-the-top.

Her character may seem clueless at times, but one wonderfully realistic thing about her is that in perhaps one of the film's best scenes, she reveals that she is 27, single, professionally unsatisfied and incomplete. Anyone who's not a liar would have to admit that he or she has come across several such people in their lives, namely women, and thus it's a nice touch that typically goes unmentioned in films that like to churn out 'perfect' characters.

Special mentions to Kirron Kher and Boman Irani for their hilarious supporting roles; Bobby Deol, sadly, is one of the flaws in terms of the casting. He does an okay job in his rather lengthy role, but at 38 he seems out of place in the larger scheme of things. His role also seems tailor made for someone like Arjun Rampal, who may only be a couple of years younger, but career wise is a whole generation younger.

Other flaws are that the film does drag in the end. Also, the plot itself has its share of loopholes, but romantic comedies are not the best to dissect in terms of content now, are they? Some have complained that the portrayal of homosexuals is entirely stereotypical, as they are all made to be flamboyant and sassy. But kindly look at the lead pair: while Abhishek portrays exactly that, John's character has been written to behave as normal, the 'man' in the relationship, save for one scene where he feels pressured to be slightly more obvious.

Also, for the first time in the history of Hindi films, the foreign actors are NORMAL. They are not strange Eastern Europeans posing as Americans or Brits, they do not have absurd accents or shout their dialogues or make comments about how Indians are the greatest people on earth. They just play their parts, and that in itself is a great achievement for an industry that always makes a mockery of foreign characters, often making you wonder if they picked up any random from the street.

The music grows on you; you may have never thought you would find yourself singing Desi Girl or Maa Da Laadla in your head, but the film has that growing effect on you. Jaane Kyon is the soul of the film and is the perfect way to depict the evolving friendship of the main three. Shilpa Shetty may be aging, but her figure remains as enviable as ever in the opening Shut Up and Bounce track.

Verdict? Go see it, because after a long time there is a comedy that is genuinely funny and a film that relies on pure, Bollywood entertainment, one that may just have repeat value at that, and characters that you actually do care for.

Priyanka Powers Through

After a series of appalling films following a nearly year-and-a-half hiatus, Priyanka Chopra could seemingly do nothing right. In my Drona review, I declared that Ms. Chopra "best hope that the upcoming Fashion and Dostana revive what looks like a sinking career," and damn it the lady has officially made me eat my own words.

That Fashion is Chopra's career-best performance is evident as soon as, just before the interval, she develops a perpetual smirk on her face and settles into her newly-appointed supermodel status. But as ungrateful as her reel-life persona may be to the people who helped her get there, let's hope she shows some real-life gratitude to Madhur Bhandarkar, the man who may have just salvaged her career.

Known for his women-centric subjects in past endeavors such as Chandni Bar, Satta, Page 3 and Corporate, he makes no exception here in a film that essentially revolves around three women: a struggling model with huge aspirations (Chopra); a b-grade model who teaches other wannabes the ropes (debutante Mugdha Godse) and a notoriously diva supermodel on the brink of downfall (Kangana Raunat, of Gangster and Woh Lamhe).

Chopra indeed receives the most scope and makes the most of it, perhaps predicting that this could very well be her last shot. Instead of merely digging herself out of the aforementioned hole, she ends up proving that recent poor film selection notwithstanding, she is in fact the one with the most acting potential of the new generation beauty brigade.

Kangana is bearable when she uses her body language and expressions; unfortunately as soon as she starts shrieking in her ever-shrill voice, it gets to be a bit much. Newbie Mughda is a good find either because she plays herself - a model - or she is in fact talented and one to look out for.

Kudos for the transitioning of Chopra from a small-town girl with bad clothes, cheap highlights and a bit of extra weight to a leaner, high-fashion achiever and then to an over-the-top, borderline tramp.

The main setback is the film's length. At two hours and 30 minutes, it feels more like three due to its often repetitive tendency. At times we feel we have seen enough shows and parties and have well understood the hypocrisy and superficiality of the coveted industry defined by glamor.

Verdict? A definite watch for a new subject and the return of Priyanka Chopra.

Feels More Like 'Rona'...

My initial thought was that Goldie Behl's much-hyped Drona may actually make for decent fair. Abhishek Bachchan and Kay Kay Menon reunited post-Sarkar; Little Bachchan also reunited with his Bluffmaster co-star Priyanka Chopra, whom he fondly calls Piggy Chops; ambiguous promos that fail to give away too much information about this mythological/superhero flick; and a whole lot of talk about the amount of money and time spent on this so-called creative venture.

But we all know that creativity commonly bites the dust in the Hindi film industry, hence we are subjected to a wafer-thin plot that does not actually consist of a concrete story, and three caricatures rather than characters. And, of course, originality be damned, because what the director opts for is a car chase, a sword fight, a villain who holds his finger to his mouth (a la Dr. Evil from Austin Powers), a strange Exorcist-style possession of the hero in the penultimate reel and a desi Gandalf...that's right, I said a desi Gandalf.

What's worse is that Abhishek continues his sleepwalk method of acting and relies upon intense looks and mumbling a few dialogues in old-school Hindi. You know, something about yudh, mayan, poshak, Drona...huh? Yeah, we never really got how that was supposed to be a sentence either.

Kay Kay, the gifted actor of Sarkar, Life in a Metro, Honeymoon Travels and Mumbai Meri Jaan, is made to ham like his life depends on it. At times, his humor works, but then after he repeats his 'gustakhi maaf' line for the one millionth time, the audience is rather over it.

Priyanka looks hot and waves around a weird weapon that resembles a dream catcher. See, she can kill people with it, and decorate her home, too! Yeah...right. Except after a year and a half hiatus, this lady has given us what could rank as three of the all-time worst films, i.e. Love Story 2050, God Tussi Great Ho and now Drona. She best hope that the upcoming Fashion and Dostana revive what looks like a sinking career, now that ex-flame Akshay Kumar has found a new 'friendly co-star' in Katrina Kaif.

Also, pray tell, who in the world is Kay Kay even trying to terrorize in the film? We are essentially introduced to only four to six characters, none of whom are victims of the villain's antics. And so one wonders...is Drona really a superhero or a savior? Wouldn't that entail at least one scene where he actually saves someone? Director saab seems more content making him look the look (and by look, we mean an Indian groom-inspired sherwani best fit for a runway than a showdown) and talk the talk (and by talk, we mean silence, because he almost never talks).

Maybe we'll give the film a +1 for the Drona Redux track that is reasonably catchy. Otherwise, God only knows why Abhi baby is attempting a Gene Kelly-esque dance in the opening reels.

Verdict? Drona makes Love Story 2050 look like a masterpiece. Okay, okay...we won't go to such an extreme. But you get the point now, do you not?

Style Watch

Call it the Indian version of When Bad Clothes Happen to Good People...but the Mumbai premiere of Saawariya consisted of the worst Red Carpet round-up perhaps witnessed in modern times. Just when we thought our Indian celebs were getting trendier by the day, the B-wood glitterati decided to take fashion faux pas to another level...

Priyanka Chopra
The skinny jeans fit well, and even the gold heels are of reasonable compliment. But good lord, what is with that top? This, my friends, is East Meets West at its ugly best. Even on its own, the overly-done peacock detailing is utterly tacky, and the velvet blue trim at the bottom looks out of place. One wonders what Ms. Chopra was thinking when she draped this shapeless piece over her otherwise fit body. Let me add: You do not carry a cream snakeskin purse with gold sandals and a heavily-detailed top. So much for that Koffee with Karan award for Best Dressed...
Grade: D- (we'll give her at least a point-and-a-half for the nicely-fitting jeans and heels...and because she's that hot)

Lara Dutta

Ms. Chopra could seek comfort in the fact that her apparent arch-rival Lara Dutta put on an even more hideous display by choosing to dress in a medieval bedspread. Apart from the flowing churidar that's about as outdated as Ranbir Kapoor's hairstyle, the mixing of fabrics is downright atrocious. The gold accent shouts Xena the Warrior Woman (cause she was oh-so fashionable), and the yellow peasant sleeves do little to help her case. And that print...why God why? Leave it on your pillowcase, Ms. Dutta. Hands down, the worst dressed of the night.
Grade: F- (for inflicting this massacre on the unsuspecting public)

Salman Khan
The less said about Lara's on-screen 'Partner', the better. Ever since Sallu proclaimed he was in love with Govinda's stylist, we knew there was no digging him out of the grave he quite frankly dug for himself. But embroidering your crotch area is about as low as you can get (no pun intended). One wonders if he was taken in by the beaming lights that glimmer from the Saawariya sets, but one also wishes he did not apply that same attention to...that region. Paired with that a glittering Rolling Stones tee under a rather dapper black leather jacket, and Sallu is about as clueless as Kim Sharma when she speaks.

Grade: D (points for the jacket, only...)

Rani Mukherjee
Not known for her off-screen dress sense, Rani usually plays it pretty safe in traditional wear. Though not disastrous, here she is caught doing what she does best: boring us to tears. Not to mention, she has most definitely worn this before, and I will make it my goal to find out when and where. Moreover, it is not at all complimentary to her not-so-frail frame.

Grade: C (it ain't the worst, but it leaves a lot to be desired)

Hema Malini
If only Hemaji had stuck to the elegant saris that uphold her iconic status. This Chinese-inspired jacket looks like it belongs on a waitress. Although Vidya Balan is not all that visible, she seems to be rocking the black...only in a rather blasé manner.
Grade: C (she's older, it's only fair we give her some extra leeway for not being acquainted with trends from the modern fashion world)

Amisha Patel
She can't act, she can't dance and evidently she can't dress either. It's not easy to get a sari wrong, but somehow Ms. Patel manages to do just that in this absurd concoction of metallic, chiffon embroidery and...bright pink florals. How the gold clutch relates is any one's guess. And no, matching your lipstick to the flamingo pink does not help.
Grade: F (for being loud, tacky and just for being Amisha Patel)

Sonali Kulkarni

A body suit...seriously....seriously? Not that body suits should ever be worn, but at least have the figure for it. After all, if you've got it, flaunt it...but if you don't, kindly hide it. And hide your underwear, while you're at it.
Grade: F- (at the risk of sounding repetitive, seriously?)

Kangana Raunat
The red is hot, the skin show is not. The odd-looking Kangana flaunts her non-existent torso in a red chiffon sari. Nothing is wrong with the sari, but perhaps an actual blouse rather than a bra would give her that extra bit of class. Also, something must be done with that puffy hair and vampire makeup. Also, an alternate-colored purse and pair of shoes would do her some good. There's sexy red, and then there's a bloodbath.
Grade: B- (kudos for trying and looking better than the rest of the lot)

Those Who Prevailed

Hrithik & Suzanne Roshan
Well, it was more of Hrithik who prevailed rather than his wife. It seems the 't-shirt under blazer with jeans and white trainers' is Duggu's new favorite look. It was the same look that won him the Best Dressed on Koffee with Karan and recent Style Icon award but also similar to what he sported when picking up the Most Stylish Male award at the 2007 MTV Lycra Style Awards. Fair enough, Duggu...rock on while you're still young and hot. His batter half, on the other hand, was a little blah in a highly-sequined baby pink top that reminds one of how doting mothers dress their helpless tots for weddings. The shoes are too casual, but hats off to Mrs. Roshan for looking that fit after recently pushing out the cute couple's first child.
Grade: B (mostly due to Hrithik, but he loses points for the male skinny jeans with apparent slit at the bottom)

Sushmita Sen
The stunning Sushmita could very well have been attending friend Farah Khan's Om Shanti Om premiere in an obvious reprisal of her acclaimed Main Hoon Na sexy sari routine. The color does wonders for her curiously tanner complexion, and the jewelry is simple yet effective. Now if only someone would name that conspicuous fellow accompanying her in the lazy white salwar kameez.
Grade: B+ (how's about a sequel to Main Hoon Na?)

Urmila Matondkar & Tusshar Kapoor
We have no idea why on earth they appeared together, or perhaps it was just the cameramen making it seem that way, but at least they made the effort to look somewhat trendy. There may be a little too much going on with Urmila's sari, but it manages to be daring without overstepping that fine line between trying something different and trying too much. The teal is also lovely, paired with a simple black blouse given the sari itself has enough design to sustain itself. Tusshar, much as I hate to admit, looks rather contemporary in a pair of dark jeans with a black button-down and black blazer. The black belt is a nice accent...well done, Tusshar. It looks like you're not completely useless after all.
Grade: A- (there's obvious grade inflation what with the overall debacle of the rest)

Rekha

Age is no match for Rekhaji as she stuns in a crystal-embroidered banarasi sari. She looks every bit as opulent as the film on display. The likes of Karan Johar would be very proud. Who is the mystery man (or should I say boy)?

The Winners

Saif Ali Khan & Kareena Kapoor

Hate 'em or love 'em, they are perhaps the hottest couple on the market. Saif is sexiness personified in a solid black blazer with jeans, and then there is that stubble...Kareena, meanwhile, has never looked better. After the stunning Manish Malhotra dress she sported at the 2007 Filmfare Awards and now this chic and sexy sari, she's fast becoming one of the better dressed celebs out there. The black and red is a classic mix, and she shows off just the right amount of her newly-toned physique. The turquoise accent is a stroke of genius, and one can only imagine it is Mr. Malhotra at the helm yet again.
Grade: A (how more ideal can a situation be where every guy wants to be Saif, and every girl wants to be Kareena)