Style Watch

Call it the Indian version of When Bad Clothes Happen to Good People...but the Mumbai premiere of Saawariya consisted of the worst Red Carpet round-up perhaps witnessed in modern times. Just when we thought our Indian celebs were getting trendier by the day, the B-wood glitterati decided to take fashion faux pas to another level...

Priyanka Chopra
The skinny jeans fit well, and even the gold heels are of reasonable compliment. But good lord, what is with that top? This, my friends, is East Meets West at its ugly best. Even on its own, the overly-done peacock detailing is utterly tacky, and the velvet blue trim at the bottom looks out of place. One wonders what Ms. Chopra was thinking when she draped this shapeless piece over her otherwise fit body. Let me add: You do not carry a cream snakeskin purse with gold sandals and a heavily-detailed top. So much for that Koffee with Karan award for Best Dressed...
Grade: D- (we'll give her at least a point-and-a-half for the nicely-fitting jeans and heels...and because she's that hot)

Lara Dutta

Ms. Chopra could seek comfort in the fact that her apparent arch-rival Lara Dutta put on an even more hideous display by choosing to dress in a medieval bedspread. Apart from the flowing churidar that's about as outdated as Ranbir Kapoor's hairstyle, the mixing of fabrics is downright atrocious. The gold accent shouts Xena the Warrior Woman (cause she was oh-so fashionable), and the yellow peasant sleeves do little to help her case. And that print...why God why? Leave it on your pillowcase, Ms. Dutta. Hands down, the worst dressed of the night.
Grade: F- (for inflicting this massacre on the unsuspecting public)

Salman Khan
The less said about Lara's on-screen 'Partner', the better. Ever since Sallu proclaimed he was in love with Govinda's stylist, we knew there was no digging him out of the grave he quite frankly dug for himself. But embroidering your crotch area is about as low as you can get (no pun intended). One wonders if he was taken in by the beaming lights that glimmer from the Saawariya sets, but one also wishes he did not apply that same attention to...that region. Paired with that a glittering Rolling Stones tee under a rather dapper black leather jacket, and Sallu is about as clueless as Kim Sharma when she speaks.

Grade: D (points for the jacket, only...)

Rani Mukherjee
Not known for her off-screen dress sense, Rani usually plays it pretty safe in traditional wear. Though not disastrous, here she is caught doing what she does best: boring us to tears. Not to mention, she has most definitely worn this before, and I will make it my goal to find out when and where. Moreover, it is not at all complimentary to her not-so-frail frame.

Grade: C (it ain't the worst, but it leaves a lot to be desired)

Hema Malini
If only Hemaji had stuck to the elegant saris that uphold her iconic status. This Chinese-inspired jacket looks like it belongs on a waitress. Although Vidya Balan is not all that visible, she seems to be rocking the black...only in a rather blasé manner.
Grade: C (she's older, it's only fair we give her some extra leeway for not being acquainted with trends from the modern fashion world)

Amisha Patel
She can't act, she can't dance and evidently she can't dress either. It's not easy to get a sari wrong, but somehow Ms. Patel manages to do just that in this absurd concoction of metallic, chiffon embroidery and...bright pink florals. How the gold clutch relates is any one's guess. And no, matching your lipstick to the flamingo pink does not help.
Grade: F (for being loud, tacky and just for being Amisha Patel)

Sonali Kulkarni

A body suit...seriously....seriously? Not that body suits should ever be worn, but at least have the figure for it. After all, if you've got it, flaunt it...but if you don't, kindly hide it. And hide your underwear, while you're at it.
Grade: F- (at the risk of sounding repetitive, seriously?)

Kangana Raunat
The red is hot, the skin show is not. The odd-looking Kangana flaunts her non-existent torso in a red chiffon sari. Nothing is wrong with the sari, but perhaps an actual blouse rather than a bra would give her that extra bit of class. Also, something must be done with that puffy hair and vampire makeup. Also, an alternate-colored purse and pair of shoes would do her some good. There's sexy red, and then there's a bloodbath.
Grade: B- (kudos for trying and looking better than the rest of the lot)

Those Who Prevailed

Hrithik & Suzanne Roshan
Well, it was more of Hrithik who prevailed rather than his wife. It seems the 't-shirt under blazer with jeans and white trainers' is Duggu's new favorite look. It was the same look that won him the Best Dressed on Koffee with Karan and recent Style Icon award but also similar to what he sported when picking up the Most Stylish Male award at the 2007 MTV Lycra Style Awards. Fair enough, Duggu...rock on while you're still young and hot. His batter half, on the other hand, was a little blah in a highly-sequined baby pink top that reminds one of how doting mothers dress their helpless tots for weddings. The shoes are too casual, but hats off to Mrs. Roshan for looking that fit after recently pushing out the cute couple's first child.
Grade: B (mostly due to Hrithik, but he loses points for the male skinny jeans with apparent slit at the bottom)

Sushmita Sen
The stunning Sushmita could very well have been attending friend Farah Khan's Om Shanti Om premiere in an obvious reprisal of her acclaimed Main Hoon Na sexy sari routine. The color does wonders for her curiously tanner complexion, and the jewelry is simple yet effective. Now if only someone would name that conspicuous fellow accompanying her in the lazy white salwar kameez.
Grade: B+ (how's about a sequel to Main Hoon Na?)

Urmila Matondkar & Tusshar Kapoor
We have no idea why on earth they appeared together, or perhaps it was just the cameramen making it seem that way, but at least they made the effort to look somewhat trendy. There may be a little too much going on with Urmila's sari, but it manages to be daring without overstepping that fine line between trying something different and trying too much. The teal is also lovely, paired with a simple black blouse given the sari itself has enough design to sustain itself. Tusshar, much as I hate to admit, looks rather contemporary in a pair of dark jeans with a black button-down and black blazer. The black belt is a nice accent...well done, Tusshar. It looks like you're not completely useless after all.
Grade: A- (there's obvious grade inflation what with the overall debacle of the rest)

Rekha

Age is no match for Rekhaji as she stuns in a crystal-embroidered banarasi sari. She looks every bit as opulent as the film on display. The likes of Karan Johar would be very proud. Who is the mystery man (or should I say boy)?

The Winners

Saif Ali Khan & Kareena Kapoor

Hate 'em or love 'em, they are perhaps the hottest couple on the market. Saif is sexiness personified in a solid black blazer with jeans, and then there is that stubble...Kareena, meanwhile, has never looked better. After the stunning Manish Malhotra dress she sported at the 2007 Filmfare Awards and now this chic and sexy sari, she's fast becoming one of the better dressed celebs out there. The black and red is a classic mix, and she shows off just the right amount of her newly-toned physique. The turquoise accent is a stroke of genius, and one can only imagine it is Mr. Malhotra at the helm yet again.
Grade: A (how more ideal can a situation be where every guy wants to be Saif, and every girl wants to be Kareena)

Things Best Left Forgotten

The Priyadarshan/Akshay Kumar/Paresh Rawal has been alive and kicking since Hera Pheri proved an unlikely success seven years ago. Somewhere along the way, a Rajpal Yadav was thrown into the mix, and along came a progression of films ranging from hilarious to reasonably funny to downright awful. The team's latest offering, Bhool Bhulaiyaa, sadly falls into the latter category, making one wonder...should this team just give it a rest?

There's no point in getting into the story, because there isn't really a coherent one as such. Priyadarshan, much to our dismay, seems to have taken a leaf out of Ram Gopal Varma's book and opted to make his own comedy/horror flick, a la Darling. Perhaps someone should have informed Priyadarshan of Darling's unfortunate fate (and the pain it inflicted on the few of us who actually watched it)...

Actually, let me take that back. Before delivering the slightest warning on how RGV is no longer a source for inspiration, someone should have informed Priyadarshan that you should never, not even in your wildest dreams, cast Amisha Patel in your film. Her wrath remains unbearable, and her acting capabilities remain non-existent. One wonders how she even managed to get the role given this is not a Vikram Bhatt production...yes, that was most definitely an intentional innuendo...

As if casting Amisha was not enough, Priyadarshan then decides that he will not introduce Akshay until nearly the intermission. So every one's favorite comic boy is very much absent from the first hour of the film, if not more...subjecting us to more tears than laughs. And lo and behold, as soon as Akshay emerges from whatever hiatus that was, the film picks up and shows slight promise.

And that is when the director mixes in the RGV influence and decides to shoot for some lousy combination of The Exorcist and ...Dumb and Dumber? Yes, I was confused, too.

No folks, this is not a remake of any known film...it's just a horrid mixture of one too many genres. Hell, there's even a love triangle in there.

Oh, and wasting Akshay's talent was not enough ...Priyadarshan opted to sign on two of the most promising new kids on the block, Shiney Ahuja and Vidya Balan, was tarnish the reliable reputations they so carefully built with their first few films. (And, of course, there's Paresh Rawal who can only watch the proceedings and probably wonder what he's even doing in the film in the first place).

There's a nice tune or two...Labon Ko is the only one you vaguely remember after the debacle you were made to witness.

Priyadarshan, where did we go wrong with you? First Phir Hera Pheri, then Dhol and now this? Why don't you go back to making another Virasat? It looks like you've milked your comedies for all that they're worth.

Verdict? Best...Left...Forgotten