Feels More Like 'Rona'...

My initial thought was that Goldie Behl's much-hyped Drona may actually make for decent fair. Abhishek Bachchan and Kay Kay Menon reunited post-Sarkar; Little Bachchan also reunited with his Bluffmaster co-star Priyanka Chopra, whom he fondly calls Piggy Chops; ambiguous promos that fail to give away too much information about this mythological/superhero flick; and a whole lot of talk about the amount of money and time spent on this so-called creative venture.

But we all know that creativity commonly bites the dust in the Hindi film industry, hence we are subjected to a wafer-thin plot that does not actually consist of a concrete story, and three caricatures rather than characters. And, of course, originality be damned, because what the director opts for is a car chase, a sword fight, a villain who holds his finger to his mouth (a la Dr. Evil from Austin Powers), a strange Exorcist-style possession of the hero in the penultimate reel and a desi Gandalf...that's right, I said a desi Gandalf.

What's worse is that Abhishek continues his sleepwalk method of acting and relies upon intense looks and mumbling a few dialogues in old-school Hindi. You know, something about yudh, mayan, poshak, Drona...huh? Yeah, we never really got how that was supposed to be a sentence either.

Kay Kay, the gifted actor of Sarkar, Life in a Metro, Honeymoon Travels and Mumbai Meri Jaan, is made to ham like his life depends on it. At times, his humor works, but then after he repeats his 'gustakhi maaf' line for the one millionth time, the audience is rather over it.

Priyanka looks hot and waves around a weird weapon that resembles a dream catcher. See, she can kill people with it, and decorate her home, too! Yeah...right. Except after a year and a half hiatus, this lady has given us what could rank as three of the all-time worst films, i.e. Love Story 2050, God Tussi Great Ho and now Drona. She best hope that the upcoming Fashion and Dostana revive what looks like a sinking career, now that ex-flame Akshay Kumar has found a new 'friendly co-star' in Katrina Kaif.

Also, pray tell, who in the world is Kay Kay even trying to terrorize in the film? We are essentially introduced to only four to six characters, none of whom are victims of the villain's antics. And so one wonders...is Drona really a superhero or a savior? Wouldn't that entail at least one scene where he actually saves someone? Director saab seems more content making him look the look (and by look, we mean an Indian groom-inspired sherwani best fit for a runway than a showdown) and talk the talk (and by talk, we mean silence, because he almost never talks).

Maybe we'll give the film a +1 for the Drona Redux track that is reasonably catchy. Otherwise, God only knows why Abhi baby is attempting a Gene Kelly-esque dance in the opening reels.

Verdict? Drona makes Love Story 2050 look like a masterpiece. Okay, okay...we won't go to such an extreme. But you get the point now, do you not?

A 'metro' worth visiting...

Correction: It came to my attention that I originally included Shool as a good performance by Shilpa Shetty. I was kindly reminded that Raveena Tandon was the lead actress in Shool. Ms. Shetty's contribution was the item number, Main Aayi Hoon U.P. Bihar Lootne. My apologies for deeming that a performance. (Thanks Roopam)

In my last post I spoke of gathering an ensemble cast and then failing at extracting any good performances or creating a cohesive story. In Life in a...Metro, director Anurag Basu manages to bring out the best in nine performers while simultaneously narrating six different stories. As if that were not enough, Basu manages to weave them into one cohesive unit without ever delving into the contrived coincidences to which the Hindi film industry is so accustomed.

Metro tells the modern-day tale of a metropolitan area, of the interconnectedness of its inhabitants and the deceit that plagues India's upper-middle class. Never once do you feel as though you are watching something implausible or farcical. The plights of each character are such that anyone can empathize or at least admit to have seen before.

Last time I talked of regressive directing, of how Anubhav Sinha somehow managed to take enormous steps backward with his latest release, Cash. Basu, on the other hand, seems to have improved leaps and bounds in the art of storytelling. For someone who made his directorial debut with Kucch To Hai, a cheap I Know What You Did Last Summer rehash, and then went on to plagiarize every other Hollywood film possible, it comes as almost a shock that he is capable of such meticulous direction; especially considering his list, until now, comprised of the disastrous Arthur remake Tumsa Nahin Dekha and the 'why don't we sell some sex' copy of Unfaithful, i.e. Murder. Somewhere in between was a semi-convincing (but still entirely unoriginal) Saaya, until Basu finally struck gold last year with a dark horse sort of film called Gangster.

And now, as if out of the blue, he's made a film on par with international cinema, something that very few contemporary Hindi filmmakers can boast of. Yes, Karan Johar, we still watch your films. But my oh my would we be embarrassed to watch them with our non-desi friends.

Disclosing the actual plot-lines would risk giving away too much, so I will simply talk about the performances and music. Each and every actor comes out a winner. Kay Kay Menon and Irrfan Khan are already seasoned performances and do not let you down. Shiney Ahuja can add this film to his already-growing repertoire of promising performances. He's definitely a talent to look out for. Sharman Joshi is also quite the surprise package - someone who has appeared in the most useless of films, such as Style, Excuse Me and Shaadi No. 1 seems to have finally found his footing in a more serious, not to mention productive, venture.

If you think the ladies are around to provide the romance and dance around trees, you better guess again. Each is as strong as her male counterpart. Shilpa Shetty has emerged into a fine actress - it seems that she is finally finding the roles that showcase her acting prowess, some 15 years after she announced her arrival in the industry. Metro will definitely go down with Dhadkan and Phir Milenge as her career-best performances. Konkona Sen Sharma is another phenomenal talent to look out for. She continues to prove her worth post-Omkara and Page 3. Kangna Ranaut also takes one by surprise - while she definitely showed signs of talent in her earlier outings, one felt she was rather over the top. Here she manages to keep herself restrained.

Dharmendra and Nafisa Ali are as charming as ever.

The music is also outstanding - a great blend of Pakistani and Bangladeshi artistes, with some Indian for good measure. :)

Verdict: A must-watch for everyone!