Feels More Like 'Rona'...

My initial thought was that Goldie Behl's much-hyped Drona may actually make for decent fair. Abhishek Bachchan and Kay Kay Menon reunited post-Sarkar; Little Bachchan also reunited with his Bluffmaster co-star Priyanka Chopra, whom he fondly calls Piggy Chops; ambiguous promos that fail to give away too much information about this mythological/superhero flick; and a whole lot of talk about the amount of money and time spent on this so-called creative venture.

But we all know that creativity commonly bites the dust in the Hindi film industry, hence we are subjected to a wafer-thin plot that does not actually consist of a concrete story, and three caricatures rather than characters. And, of course, originality be damned, because what the director opts for is a car chase, a sword fight, a villain who holds his finger to his mouth (a la Dr. Evil from Austin Powers), a strange Exorcist-style possession of the hero in the penultimate reel and a desi Gandalf...that's right, I said a desi Gandalf.

What's worse is that Abhishek continues his sleepwalk method of acting and relies upon intense looks and mumbling a few dialogues in old-school Hindi. You know, something about yudh, mayan, poshak, Drona...huh? Yeah, we never really got how that was supposed to be a sentence either.

Kay Kay, the gifted actor of Sarkar, Life in a Metro, Honeymoon Travels and Mumbai Meri Jaan, is made to ham like his life depends on it. At times, his humor works, but then after he repeats his 'gustakhi maaf' line for the one millionth time, the audience is rather over it.

Priyanka looks hot and waves around a weird weapon that resembles a dream catcher. See, she can kill people with it, and decorate her home, too! Yeah...right. Except after a year and a half hiatus, this lady has given us what could rank as three of the all-time worst films, i.e. Love Story 2050, God Tussi Great Ho and now Drona. She best hope that the upcoming Fashion and Dostana revive what looks like a sinking career, now that ex-flame Akshay Kumar has found a new 'friendly co-star' in Katrina Kaif.

Also, pray tell, who in the world is Kay Kay even trying to terrorize in the film? We are essentially introduced to only four to six characters, none of whom are victims of the villain's antics. And so one wonders...is Drona really a superhero or a savior? Wouldn't that entail at least one scene where he actually saves someone? Director saab seems more content making him look the look (and by look, we mean an Indian groom-inspired sherwani best fit for a runway than a showdown) and talk the talk (and by talk, we mean silence, because he almost never talks).

Maybe we'll give the film a +1 for the Drona Redux track that is reasonably catchy. Otherwise, God only knows why Abhi baby is attempting a Gene Kelly-esque dance in the opening reels.

Verdict? Drona makes Love Story 2050 look like a masterpiece. Okay, okay...we won't go to such an extreme. But you get the point now, do you not?