Style Watch

Call it the Indian version of When Bad Clothes Happen to Good People...but the Mumbai premiere of Saawariya consisted of the worst Red Carpet round-up perhaps witnessed in modern times. Just when we thought our Indian celebs were getting trendier by the day, the B-wood glitterati decided to take fashion faux pas to another level...

Priyanka Chopra
The skinny jeans fit well, and even the gold heels are of reasonable compliment. But good lord, what is with that top? This, my friends, is East Meets West at its ugly best. Even on its own, the overly-done peacock detailing is utterly tacky, and the velvet blue trim at the bottom looks out of place. One wonders what Ms. Chopra was thinking when she draped this shapeless piece over her otherwise fit body. Let me add: You do not carry a cream snakeskin purse with gold sandals and a heavily-detailed top. So much for that Koffee with Karan award for Best Dressed...
Grade: D- (we'll give her at least a point-and-a-half for the nicely-fitting jeans and heels...and because she's that hot)

Lara Dutta

Ms. Chopra could seek comfort in the fact that her apparent arch-rival Lara Dutta put on an even more hideous display by choosing to dress in a medieval bedspread. Apart from the flowing churidar that's about as outdated as Ranbir Kapoor's hairstyle, the mixing of fabrics is downright atrocious. The gold accent shouts Xena the Warrior Woman (cause she was oh-so fashionable), and the yellow peasant sleeves do little to help her case. And that print...why God why? Leave it on your pillowcase, Ms. Dutta. Hands down, the worst dressed of the night.
Grade: F- (for inflicting this massacre on the unsuspecting public)

Salman Khan
The less said about Lara's on-screen 'Partner', the better. Ever since Sallu proclaimed he was in love with Govinda's stylist, we knew there was no digging him out of the grave he quite frankly dug for himself. But embroidering your crotch area is about as low as you can get (no pun intended). One wonders if he was taken in by the beaming lights that glimmer from the Saawariya sets, but one also wishes he did not apply that same attention to...that region. Paired with that a glittering Rolling Stones tee under a rather dapper black leather jacket, and Sallu is about as clueless as Kim Sharma when she speaks.

Grade: D (points for the jacket, only...)

Rani Mukherjee
Not known for her off-screen dress sense, Rani usually plays it pretty safe in traditional wear. Though not disastrous, here she is caught doing what she does best: boring us to tears. Not to mention, she has most definitely worn this before, and I will make it my goal to find out when and where. Moreover, it is not at all complimentary to her not-so-frail frame.

Grade: C (it ain't the worst, but it leaves a lot to be desired)

Hema Malini
If only Hemaji had stuck to the elegant saris that uphold her iconic status. This Chinese-inspired jacket looks like it belongs on a waitress. Although Vidya Balan is not all that visible, she seems to be rocking the black...only in a rather blasé manner.
Grade: C (she's older, it's only fair we give her some extra leeway for not being acquainted with trends from the modern fashion world)

Amisha Patel
She can't act, she can't dance and evidently she can't dress either. It's not easy to get a sari wrong, but somehow Ms. Patel manages to do just that in this absurd concoction of metallic, chiffon embroidery and...bright pink florals. How the gold clutch relates is any one's guess. And no, matching your lipstick to the flamingo pink does not help.
Grade: F (for being loud, tacky and just for being Amisha Patel)

Sonali Kulkarni

A body suit...seriously....seriously? Not that body suits should ever be worn, but at least have the figure for it. After all, if you've got it, flaunt it...but if you don't, kindly hide it. And hide your underwear, while you're at it.
Grade: F- (at the risk of sounding repetitive, seriously?)

Kangana Raunat
The red is hot, the skin show is not. The odd-looking Kangana flaunts her non-existent torso in a red chiffon sari. Nothing is wrong with the sari, but perhaps an actual blouse rather than a bra would give her that extra bit of class. Also, something must be done with that puffy hair and vampire makeup. Also, an alternate-colored purse and pair of shoes would do her some good. There's sexy red, and then there's a bloodbath.
Grade: B- (kudos for trying and looking better than the rest of the lot)

Those Who Prevailed

Hrithik & Suzanne Roshan
Well, it was more of Hrithik who prevailed rather than his wife. It seems the 't-shirt under blazer with jeans and white trainers' is Duggu's new favorite look. It was the same look that won him the Best Dressed on Koffee with Karan and recent Style Icon award but also similar to what he sported when picking up the Most Stylish Male award at the 2007 MTV Lycra Style Awards. Fair enough, Duggu...rock on while you're still young and hot. His batter half, on the other hand, was a little blah in a highly-sequined baby pink top that reminds one of how doting mothers dress their helpless tots for weddings. The shoes are too casual, but hats off to Mrs. Roshan for looking that fit after recently pushing out the cute couple's first child.
Grade: B (mostly due to Hrithik, but he loses points for the male skinny jeans with apparent slit at the bottom)

Sushmita Sen
The stunning Sushmita could very well have been attending friend Farah Khan's Om Shanti Om premiere in an obvious reprisal of her acclaimed Main Hoon Na sexy sari routine. The color does wonders for her curiously tanner complexion, and the jewelry is simple yet effective. Now if only someone would name that conspicuous fellow accompanying her in the lazy white salwar kameez.
Grade: B+ (how's about a sequel to Main Hoon Na?)

Urmila Matondkar & Tusshar Kapoor
We have no idea why on earth they appeared together, or perhaps it was just the cameramen making it seem that way, but at least they made the effort to look somewhat trendy. There may be a little too much going on with Urmila's sari, but it manages to be daring without overstepping that fine line between trying something different and trying too much. The teal is also lovely, paired with a simple black blouse given the sari itself has enough design to sustain itself. Tusshar, much as I hate to admit, looks rather contemporary in a pair of dark jeans with a black button-down and black blazer. The black belt is a nice accent...well done, Tusshar. It looks like you're not completely useless after all.
Grade: A- (there's obvious grade inflation what with the overall debacle of the rest)

Rekha

Age is no match for Rekhaji as she stuns in a crystal-embroidered banarasi sari. She looks every bit as opulent as the film on display. The likes of Karan Johar would be very proud. Who is the mystery man (or should I say boy)?

The Winners

Saif Ali Khan & Kareena Kapoor

Hate 'em or love 'em, they are perhaps the hottest couple on the market. Saif is sexiness personified in a solid black blazer with jeans, and then there is that stubble...Kareena, meanwhile, has never looked better. After the stunning Manish Malhotra dress she sported at the 2007 Filmfare Awards and now this chic and sexy sari, she's fast becoming one of the better dressed celebs out there. The black and red is a classic mix, and she shows off just the right amount of her newly-toned physique. The turquoise accent is a stroke of genius, and one can only imagine it is Mr. Malhotra at the helm yet again.
Grade: A (how more ideal can a situation be where every guy wants to be Saif, and every girl wants to be Kareena)

Treading the Fire

It was many years ago that Ram Gopal Varma announced himself as one of the most skilled filmmakers in the industry. He is perhaps most fondly remembered for giving Aamir Khan an unforgettable role in Rangeela, a film that also turned Urmila into an overnight star. His Satya undoubtedly won him the most critical acclaim, but it remains difficult to single out just one film from a director whose resume reads of Sarkar, Company, Kaun or even a Bhoot and a Mast. And so far we've only talked of direction. The list of creative films he has written and/or co-produced and the many assistants who turn director and attempt to mimic his style is rather endless. And now, after much talk, hype and controversy, his Sholay-inspired RGV Ki Aag is finally set to release this Friday.

Let it be said right now that the intention of this post is not to undermine Varma or any of his skills. I think the introduction rather proves that I am fully aware of his talent and also believe in his ability as a director. Nevertheless, Sholay is, in my most humble opinion, a film best left untouched. Especially when, as is this case with this endeavor, copyright laws are restricting you from using the same title or repeating character names, thus you end up with names that make your project sound more like a parody than a tribute.

With that, let's have a look at the casting, and where it all went wrong...

Ajay Devgan as Heero (Veeru)

We all know if there is one thing Ajay Devgan cannot do, it is comedy. He has tried and tried again, be it an Ishq or a Golmaal; or how about the recently disastrous Cash (see second post)? And for some reason beyond the world, RGV thought Ajay a good fit to Veeru.
True, Dharmendra was an action hero, too. But Dharmendra also had a flair for comedy that Ajay does not possess. On the contrary, Ajay would have been a perfect choice for Amitji's character, Jai. He's brooding and he's sarcastic - that is, if I'm not wrong, what defines Jai. Ajay getting silly drunk and climbing a tower to declare his love for the chatterbox Basanti? Yeah, I see it as a potential massacre, too.

So who should have been cast as Heero? Good question. I understand Varma's reservations about casting either of Dharmendra's actual sons. Let's face it - neither Sunny nor Bobby are good enough actors. And sure, like I said, you don't have to be a great actor to play the part. So maybe someone like Salman Khan or Akshay Kumar could have very well done it. The character is that of a drinker/skirt-chaser - last time I checked, that was Salman Khan as we know him. As for Akshay, the flirtatious quality + impeccable comic timing also would've made him a good candidate. Plus - both in both age and physique - they are in the right place to make a good Veeru/Heero.

Prashant Raj as Raj (Jai)

I'm sorry, who? While I am all for launching new talent, casting the first runner-up of Mr. India 2004 in a role even the most accomplished actors could have difficulty with is a recipe for disaster. Don't get me wrong - I'm not writing the guy off without even seeing him, but his boyish looks already render him too young for the role and certainly far too young to be playing Ajay Devgan's partner. And why create a cast of strong names like Amitabh Bachchan, Mohanlal, Ajay Devgan and Sushmita Sen, and then throw in a random newbie into the equation?

Young Prashant could turn out to be a surprise package, but he looks like a carbon copy of that James fellow Varma was so adamantly (and unsuccessfully) trying to push into the industry at one point. So who should have been Jai? I know what all of you are thinking - two words - Abhishek Bachchan. But let's face it: while Abhishek is turning out to be a fine young actor, he very much likes to imitate his father. It's only natural. But casting Bachchan junior in a role that his father originally played could really just end with him trying to literally reproduce his father's work. I could just see him playing it the same way his father did. Like I said earlier, Ajay should have been Jai. Even Akshay Kumar could've played Jai - he has that sarcastic humor in him, too.

Nisha Kothari as Ghungroo (Basanti)
RGV seems to have this strange tendency to latch onto one actress and milk her for all she's worth. In the case of Urmila, she actually turned out to be an underrated talent. With Nisha Kothari, I get more of a 'waste of space' impression than I do serious actress. Last I saw her, she was doing what she seems to be known for so far - shedding off clothes and calling it a performance. I don't want to make rude comments on why Varma is so obsessed with her, because well...yeah, I think I just implied it. But he gives her roles that she really shouldn't have.

Again, I understand apprehensions about casting Esha Deol in place of her mother. Esha, too, would probably mimic Hema Malini's classic performance, and given her limitations as an actress she probably would not even mimic all that well. My picks? Kajol, for starters - she could be that fast-talking, borderline annoying but funny village belle. She did it quite well in Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, for that matter. I would even call Madhuri Dixit out of retirement to play a role that probably fits her to the T. Sadly, due to the decreasing amount of actresses in the industry who actually know how to act, there is no one younger I can even come up with. Yes, Rani Mukherjee is a great actress. But no, her take on comedy is not her forte. Which is what takes me to the next bit...

Sushmita Sen as Durga (Radha)

Sushmita Sen is a very capable actress. But does she give off a vulnerable, almost weak vibe? Not at all. If anything, the lady is known to play strong, independent women. And here she is cast in Jaya Bhaduri-Bachchan's place as a widowed woman who says and does very little in the film. Now, I'm sure Varma has changed this, because no fool casts Sushmita in a quiet role. But honestly, Sushmita could have been Basanti rather than Radha.

I would have brought the aforementioned Rani in to play a role that is all about giving an understated and soft portrayal. She has that sense of traditionalism that sums of the essence of Radha.

The Ones We Allow

Amitabh Bachchan as Babban Singh (Gabbar Singh)

This one, we will condone. Of course Amitjit is one of the greats of Indian cinema. Nonetheless, he appears in so many films/TV commercials/who knows what else these days that he seems to suffer from overexposure. And, as a result, I worry that people are growing sick of him and will therefore not appreciate his reprisal of India's most celebrated villain as much as they normally would have. Still, if there's anyone who can even try to do what Amjad Khan did, it is Mr. Bachchan.


Urmila Matondkar as Mehbooba Mehbooba dancer (as played by Helen)

Finally, a good match. I was almost worried that Varma would fall into Farhan Akhtar's trap and give the cameo to...Kareena Kapoor. It is well known that Ms. Kapoor was perhaps the worst choice to do a Yeh Mera Dil in last year's remake of Don. With her two left feet, it was almost like an unwarranted ambush toward the audience.

Urmila, on the other hand, can dance. So age is no longer on her side and she no longer carries the hour-glass figure, but she is a fair enough choice to fill Helen's shoes. Abhishek Bachchan as the male dancer, on the other hand, will be interesting. He's good at the nautanki style dancing, but his pairing with a visibly older Urmila is rather odd.

Verdict? Watch at your own risk. If you are a fan of the classic, you'd best keep away. If you have not even seen the original, don't even think about laying eyes on the remake before witnessing the masterpiece itself.

Who knows? We may love it. This is all just a cautionary post. I will most definitely share a real review once the film is released.